Pretty much how we're all spening the day....


I really shouldn't have eaten those 4 doughnuts.


Just because I can. (And it annoys the kids!)




Why is it you can bang on a teenager's door and yell so loud the neighbors can hear, that they need to get up or they'll be late for school and they never hear you, but the second that cell phone vibrates with a text message, they're wide awake?


Warning: Do not insert this blog up your nose. Or ingest it.

I recently read an article on Yahoo about stupid warning labels.  It stated how some are put on the product because some idiot actually used the product incorrectly, and some warnings are for "just in case".  

I never read warning labels.  Unless I want a good laugh.   Let's face it, I know my flat iron is going to get really hot.  And why the hell would I use my blow dryer in the shower??  And I know enough not to consume my dish washing liquid.

The couple of times I did read warning labels, I nearly pissed my pants.  The first was on a new curling iron.  The warning?  "Do not use product to curl eye lashes"!!  Seriously?!  Someone actually tried this??  I guess a scalding hot metal rod near their EYE BALL did not scare the shit outta them.  

The other one was on a portable play yard I bought when I had my home daycare business.  {BTW.  When I was a kid they were play pens, but some uptight somebody or other felt this insinuated being in a penitentiary, so they changed the name to play yard.  It is in no way a yard & in fact is much like being in the pen.  That's why parents buy them!!}  Anyway, the warning on the play yard?  "Remove child before folding."  REALLY??!!??
I'm folding it up to pack in it's carrying case to take to another location, maybe leaving the kid in it will make it easier to carry.


This got me to thinking.  {I know, you just said out loud "Oh, shit!"} Have we, as a society, really become that stupid that we need these ridiculous warnings on just about everything?  I just find it hard to believe there are people out there who don't have enough brains to know not spray their underarm deodorant in their eyes.   And, yes, that is an actual warning on a can of spray deodorant.  But after the incident years ago where a person sued McDonald's because there was no warning that the hot coffee they ordered was HOT, I realized that, yes, there are a slew of mindless idiots procreating. 

Which is even scarier than the warning labels!!



If jogging is so fun, why is it that everyone you see doing it isn't smiling?


How to do repairs in a rental (when you have no budget for those repairs)

Let me first give you a little history of the house we are now renting.  Like most of the houses in this (and surrounding) neighborhood, the house was built in the early 1960's.  There are still a lot of originals from when it was built.  Such as plumbing & electrical.  But like most of these houses, they may have been "updated" in the 70's or 80's with paint, carpet & linoleum, but once they became rentals, they kinda got stuck in a time warp.

Some were "updated" by a handyman (sometimes called "the owner") or a "general contractor".  Our house was "updated" by a neighbor who is a "general contractor".  That is his job.  His business.  He installed some laminate wood floor in all the rooms, put a pool fence in the back yard (that was not pool code), and laid tile in the kitchen & dining room as well as on the counter tops.  All of which are what I would call sub-standard installs.  Sure, there have most likely been worse done by other contractors, but I hope his paying customers get a better result than his neighbor!

Anyway, the tile on the counter was jury (or is it Jerry?) rigged.  A piece of 1/8" plywood was stuck on top of the counter, but the sides are still the old Formica, laminate or whatever the cheap counter was.  Here is what the counter should look like:



Notice how nice & even the "general contractor" neighbor laid them.  The top isn't much better.

Here is what happened a couple of weeks ago, to the side that faces the dining room, when I leaned on the counter to move a glass:

Three pieces of tile went crashing to the floor!  Luckily only one piece broke, but it was a fairly clean break.  I left them sitting on the counter, but that ugly space staring at me every day, all day, was getting to me.  
Unfortunately, I do not have the money to get more grout, or more of that gunk that you slap on the back to stick them on.  (My technical term learned from watching all those hours of HGTV!!)

So I gathered what I had that would hopefully do the trick:

Some E-6000 epoxy glue, masking tape, electrical tape (in case the masking tape doesn't hold) and the tiles that fell off.  Slap some glue on the back of the tile you think is the first one, stick it to the side of the counter, then tape it up.


The masking tape began to left at the ends, so more electrical tape was called for.

Looks good, huh? I'll be submitting it to HGTV to see if they'll give me my own home improvement show!! 

If I had the right tools & supplies, I could do a much better job.  But I don't & it's a janky rental, so this will do for now.
Stay tuned to next weeks Rental Home Improvement episode and see how I fix a leaky shower head!!  I have enough leftover glue & tape!!


Why do dogs love dog treats so much?  They're basically the same ingredients as their food....


Monkey in a tree...


This past weekend while Savvy & Dare watched Peter pan.

D: I don't get it, "Burn 'em steak".  What does that mean?

S: It means the Indians are feeding them steak, but it has to be burned.

Long pause....

D: I still don't get it....



Exactly what is a wonderwall?


D: Savannah!  



S:  What?!!!!

D: Come find me.

S: Where are you?


10 Things That REALLY Annoy Me

1. Blowing your car horn for any reason other than say, a BABY in the street.

2. Leaving the toilet lid up.

3. Not closing the cabinet doors.

4. Not rinsing your dishes.

5. Rinsing your dishes, but then leaving them full of murky water in the sink.

6. Making me repeat instructions more than twice.

7. Not using your turn signal. Cars have them for a reason, Einstein!

8. Leaving empty {or near empty} glasses anywhere besides on the counter above the dishwasher.

9. Touching ANYTHING of mine without permission.

10. Putting empty containers back in the pantry, not telling me we're out of that item, then complaining because I didn't get more when I go to the grocery store. If I don't eat it, I have no clue we're out!!

I could list more, but I don't want to sound like I'm bitching! 


Untitled - by Savvy

{DISCLAIMER: She has no idea I'm putting this out there for all to read. I found it on their desk, just lying there, waiting for me to read. It was probably for a Language Arts assignment, but gives us a good look into what it's like being a cheerleader.}

We wear a mask on court & track
to hide our aching arms & back.
The things we do just for the team
may hurt us but our smiles gleam.
The mask puts on a show.

The crowd won't care, no, they won't mind
so we yell louder we don't whine.
Fighting back fatigue we dance as
the mask puts on a show.

Practice practice again & again
encouraging our team to win.
Even though we want to cry
our joyful masks are plastered dry.
Maybe someone will realize
we put on the show.