While walking to the car....

D: Do you like my outfit?

Me: Yes. It's cute.

D: My shoes and jacket totally don't match. They're not the same colors as in my dress.

Me: But they coordinate. That's all that matters. Look at my outfit. I don't match.

D: Yeah. But you have an excuse. You're Jackie.


While geting Tylenol

L: This has lasted a really long time.

Me: Well, it is a huge bottle.

L: Yeah, but considering all the drug addicts who take them, you'd think it'd be empty by now.

Me: I have my own stash.

L: What do you have?

Me: Extra strength Excedrin.

L: How is that different from what I took?

Me: Mine has like, aspirin, acetaminophen, and caffeine.

L: Damn, Jackie! For you, that's a party!

(I have a large company purchased "bulk" bottle of Tylenol in my desk drawer to dispense to co-workers who ask.)


Just a minute ago

Getting up from his desk -

L: Wish me luck. 

Me: Umm, okay. Where're you going?

L: Upstairs to get handles for tomorrow's installs. 


While watching X Factor

D: What IS she singing?? I can't understand her.

Me: Let's Dance. It's by Donna Summer.

D: I keep hearing lap dance....