While I wait at work for Sean, I need to vent.

If you follow me on Facebook, you've heard just a few of my rants on one of my co-workers.  But I need to vent in more than 140 words!!

We have a salesman who has been in sales for at least 15 years, and selling custom iron doors for probably 8 of those years.  Yet he STILL can't get the simplest things right.

It really, really bugs the shit out of me when an adult acts like they can't do anything for themselves.  And I think this guy (let's just call him Will) has managed to play the "poor ol' me who doesn't know how to do it" for so long, he thinks everyone will fall for it.

But he picked the wrong person to try it on.

I've know Will for about 4 years (we both worked together for another company) and I can't figure out if he was always this bad, or has just gotten worse over the years.  One of the things he's started doing is walking up to my desk while I'm eating lunch, hitting me on the arm repeatedly, and saying "Gimme some of those."  Now don't get me wrong, I'm willing to share, but I don't even let my kids pull that shit, and I sure as hell won't take it from a co-worker!!  And Will is so hyper-sensitive, so when I tell him to go pound salt and get his own food, he thinks I'm mad at him and hate him.

He just doesn't get it that I don't hate him, I hate some of what he does.  But lately, he's been getting on my last nerve.

Last week I seriously wanted to smack him upside the head so many times it probably would've given him a concussion!!

Levi and I have worked together to create our own invoices for sales, and sadly, we always think of how we can make it "Will proof".  I have never know a grown person who could so royally screw up a simple invoice as much as he can!  So we've made them all idiot Will proof.  Yet he still can't get it right.

Our GM had a meeting with him the end of last week and told him that if his paperwork isn't in order, he will not get his full commission.  So now the dumb ass thinks he has to come into the office and re-wright his paperwork so it's neat enough for me.  Yes, I have to be able to read it and the numbers have to be added up correctly, but it's mostly for the client.  They should be able to look at their paperwork and see exactly what the cost of everything is, exactly what their discounts are, and exactly what they're getting; upgrades included.  A concept that Will has a major problem grasping.  Even though I've told him several times.

And don't even get me going on his Ebonics.  Will is a 51 year old black man who wants everyone to think he's not ghetto and very intelligent. He has gone so far as to list himself on his Facebook page as "VP of Sales" for a custom iron company!  Now, I realize many people embellish their info on Facebook, but there is no way in hell he would ever make VP of sales.  I have a better chance of that position than he does!!  He likes to find a word of the day and use it.  Which is great.  Except when you throw it in a sentence where he also says "You can have a wreef hook and your color choice of hartware on boff doors."

Yeah.  That makes you sound all edjamakaded!

One day he was in the office while Levi, the GM & I were shooting the breeze, when he pulls out a composition notebook and starts flipping through the pages.  The GM asks "What you got there, Will?"  He tells us it's a book of inspirational/witty sayings he has thought up.  One of them was "My mother's wisdom is the salve I place upon her absence from my life."  I'm sorry, I've know him long enough to know he did not make that up.  I told the guys he probably Googled inspirational quotes or some such thing and wrote a bunch of them in his note book!

Thank goodness this week has ended.  Maybe next week he will be less irritating.

Though I doubt it.


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