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10/27/11

Dear People Who Take Mirror Pics,

I must speak up about your horrible pictures.  They are not at all attractive.

Not in the very least.

So I feel it's my duty to give you some pointers on what not to do in your mirror pics.

1.  This is the most important step to taking a mirror pic ~ CLEAN THE MIRROR!

2.  Clean off your sink/vanity.  I understand bathrooms can be small and short on storage space, but for the love of God, please take your lotion, tampons, shampoo and Vaseline off the counter.

3.  Put the toilet seat and lid down.  We really do not need to see your shitty toilet.

4.  Look behind you.  The background is as important as your ugly face.  If you're trying to look like a Gangsta, taking a pic in your little sister's My Little Pony themed room does not help your image.  At all.

5.  Stop with the duck lips and booty tooch already.  You look stupid. 

6.  Stop with the gang hand gestures/peace sign crap.  Again, you look stupid.

7.  Stop grabbing your crotch and/or boobs.  It just looks like you have crabs and are itching.

8.  Public restroom mirror pics never look good and there is no reason for them.  Unless the restroom is really awesome looking and so are you.

9.  Put some clothes on!  Especially if you're not in the best shape.  And make sure they fit!

10.  Taking a mirror pic with your laptop web cam or iPad looks retarded.  Stop.

11.  Last but not least, if you're trying to take a sexy pic (BTW - mirror pics are hardly ever sexy) make sure your kid is not right behind you while you're whipping out that boob.

And to prove to you you can take a good mirror pic, here's a perfect example:


Sincerely,
Someone who knows how to take a mirror pic

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