Me: ....How's that possible, you don't even have a job!
S: Oh! I have an "interview" this Thursday with the Manager to get my old job back. I know I've got it, because I always get whatever I want!
Me: Then why are you still living with your mother?
S: ....
9/4/13
8/27/13
Adjusting
I never thought I'd be one of those parents who had to drop their kids off, or pick them up, from Dad's house. But now I am.
And it feels weird.
I'm still not used to it. Driving over to the Ex's place, waiting for the kids to come out, then heading back to my place. Or driving them to cheer practice. A friend's house. Tumbling. School. Wherever.
All those things I've done hundreds of times before. From my house. Where they lived. With me.
And dropping them off is the weirdest.
Don't ask me why. It just still feels odd. When I drop them off, I drive off thinking, "I'm now one of those Moms who has to pick their kid up and drop them off at their Dad's. I'm now a statistic."
I'm working on getting over it.
I have, however, adjusted quite well to being single. In fact, I'm loving it!!
I have never lived by myself (And, technically, I'm still not, since the oldest is with me.), I went from my father's house to living with the Ex. But living (nearly) alone is so great! It's nice to come home to the house in the same way I left it. Or nearly the same way. S has a habit of stock-piling dishes in her room, then days (or weeks) later piling them up on the counter above the dishwasher. And I've come home a few times to find food I was saving for dinner or lunch has disappeared. If only I can get rid of my 'Roommate From Hell" then being single will totally be awesome!!!
As much as my sister and mother have been there for me through all this, I'm so glad I have my co-worker L as a good friend. My family has given me some good advice, and has listened to my venting, but getting a guy's point of view, especially about other guys, is the best thing ever! And he has been just as supportive as my family has. Maybe even more so. After all, he did take me out a few weekends ago because he said I REALLY needed to get laid, so he was going to help me with that! (Don't worry, nothing happened other than some good times with friends. Bar guys are not really my thing.) Eventually, though, I might actually get out there and start dating.
But for now, I'm going to enjoy my freedom and the fact I'm not "tied" to anyone.
Other than my kids.
And it feels weird.
I'm still not used to it. Driving over to the Ex's place, waiting for the kids to come out, then heading back to my place. Or driving them to cheer practice. A friend's house. Tumbling. School. Wherever.
All those things I've done hundreds of times before. From my house. Where they lived. With me.
And dropping them off is the weirdest.
Don't ask me why. It just still feels odd. When I drop them off, I drive off thinking, "I'm now one of those Moms who has to pick their kid up and drop them off at their Dad's. I'm now a statistic."
I'm working on getting over it.
I have, however, adjusted quite well to being single. In fact, I'm loving it!!
I have never lived by myself (And, technically, I'm still not, since the oldest is with me.), I went from my father's house to living with the Ex. But living (nearly) alone is so great! It's nice to come home to the house in the same way I left it. Or nearly the same way. S has a habit of stock-piling dishes in her room, then days (or weeks) later piling them up on the counter above the dishwasher. And I've come home a few times to find food I was saving for dinner or lunch has disappeared. If only I can get rid of my 'Roommate From Hell" then being single will totally be awesome!!!
As much as my sister and mother have been there for me through all this, I'm so glad I have my co-worker L as a good friend. My family has given me some good advice, and has listened to my venting, but getting a guy's point of view, especially about other guys, is the best thing ever! And he has been just as supportive as my family has. Maybe even more so. After all, he did take me out a few weekends ago because he said I REALLY needed to get laid, so he was going to help me with that! (Don't worry, nothing happened other than some good times with friends. Bar guys are not really my thing.) Eventually, though, I might actually get out there and start dating.
But for now, I'm going to enjoy my freedom and the fact I'm not "tied" to anyone.
Other than my kids.
7/17/13
Making changes
This post is long over due. A lot has happened since my last ramblings, many moons ago. And since it's 12:27, Wednesday morning and I can't sleep, I'm going attempt to write it down.
The first big, major change in my life has been the separation, and ultimately my divorce. I won't go into detail, because what happened between Sean and I is just that; between Sean and I. I will, however, say that it was a long time coming and has given me a strength I never realized I had.
I'm not one who welcomes change. In fact, I really don't like it. I'm a creature of habit and am rarely, if ever, spontaneous. I've been scared to do anything that's out of my comfort zone, but there comes a time in one's life when they must take the bull by the horns and change their behavior.
That time came this past January when I realized I was extremely unhappy with the direction my life and marriage was going in. It was not an easy decision for me to make by any means, but one I had to make in order to move forward with my life and be happy.
And I am.
Happy.
I can't remember the last time I was this happy. It's like a huge weight has been lifted off my chest. Oh, don't get me wrong, occasionally that weight comes back, trying to crush me. But I've got my mind set on it not getting the best of me again. And that, my friends, is a big step for me.
The younger 2 girls are living with their dad, and that has been another big change I had to learn to live with. When you've had your kids around you 24/7 since birth, taking care of their every need, letting go is not so easy. It's weird not having them here all the time. Having to feed them. Carting them here and there all the time. Spending evenings together watching our favorite shows. Talking. But hardest of all was the letting go and allowing their father to learn to take care of them. His way.
Having a great support system in my family and close friends has been a huge help. Just knowing they are there for me to vent to, knowing they have a shoulder ready for me to cry on, and open hearts and minds to give me advice makes all the difference in the world.
Well, for now, I'm signing off and going to attempt to get some sleep. Be safe. Be well. And be happy.
The first big, major change in my life has been the separation, and ultimately my divorce. I won't go into detail, because what happened between Sean and I is just that; between Sean and I. I will, however, say that it was a long time coming and has given me a strength I never realized I had.
I'm not one who welcomes change. In fact, I really don't like it. I'm a creature of habit and am rarely, if ever, spontaneous. I've been scared to do anything that's out of my comfort zone, but there comes a time in one's life when they must take the bull by the horns and change their behavior.
That time came this past January when I realized I was extremely unhappy with the direction my life and marriage was going in. It was not an easy decision for me to make by any means, but one I had to make in order to move forward with my life and be happy.
And I am.
Happy.
I can't remember the last time I was this happy. It's like a huge weight has been lifted off my chest. Oh, don't get me wrong, occasionally that weight comes back, trying to crush me. But I've got my mind set on it not getting the best of me again. And that, my friends, is a big step for me.
The younger 2 girls are living with their dad, and that has been another big change I had to learn to live with. When you've had your kids around you 24/7 since birth, taking care of their every need, letting go is not so easy. It's weird not having them here all the time. Having to feed them. Carting them here and there all the time. Spending evenings together watching our favorite shows. Talking. But hardest of all was the letting go and allowing their father to learn to take care of them. His way.
Having a great support system in my family and close friends has been a huge help. Just knowing they are there for me to vent to, knowing they have a shoulder ready for me to cry on, and open hearts and minds to give me advice makes all the difference in the world.
Well, for now, I'm signing off and going to attempt to get some sleep. Be safe. Be well. And be happy.
4/3/13
A couple of minutes ago....
R: What are you making?
Me: Mexican pizza & cupcakes.
D: What're the cupcakes for?
Me: It's Derrick's birthday tomorrow.
R: Are you making chocolate because he's black?
Me: Mexican pizza & cupcakes.
D: What're the cupcakes for?
Me: It's Derrick's birthday tomorrow.
R: Are you making chocolate because he's black?
3/23/13
A minute ago....
R: I told Mom she should let you rearrange the livingroom.
S: It IS my bedroom.
R: Yeah. So if you want to put the brown chair on the orange chair with the TV on top, you can.
S: This isn't Dr. Seuss you know. Those things don't work in real life.
S: It IS my bedroom.
R: Yeah. So if you want to put the brown chair on the orange chair with the TV on top, you can.
S: This isn't Dr. Seuss you know. Those things don't work in real life.
1/31/13
On the way to cheer practice this evening
R: What if I owned an O'Reilly's Auto Parts? Then if someone asks, "Can I speak with the owner?" I can say, "Hello, I'm Riley, owner of O'Reilly's Auto Parts."
1/26/13
A Netflix kinda day
Today is a wet, cold, rainy, cloudy, lazy day. So I laid in bed until 7:30 this morning just listening to the rain, then decided; today I'm doing nothing.
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And by nothing I mean only 2 loads of laundry, I'm NOT doing the dishes, and I'm firing up the Netflix account for an entire day of Private Practice, movies and documentaries.
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Of course, that could all change if a friend texts they want to hang out and get a couple of drinks tonight! (Which actually JUST happened as I was finishing up this post!)
1/25/13
A little while ago....
LC: So, you have any plans for the weekend?
Me: Nah, not really. I just have to fix my plumbing Sean broke. And by plumbing, I mean actual plumbing. In the bathroom. Not MY plumbing.
LC: You're so gross.
12/19/12
While taking R to practice
D: Why are there so many cars here?
Me: There's probably a swim meet.
R: That and the wrestling play-offs are still going on.
D: Coach Dunn was going to let us watch them during PE, but the gym was full and there was no room for us.
R: You don't want to watch wrestling. Especially the light weights. It's like watching two caterpillars fighting over a spot on a leaf.
Me: There's probably a swim meet.
R: That and the wrestling play-offs are still going on.
D: Coach Dunn was going to let us watch them during PE, but the gym was full and there was no room for us.
R: You don't want to watch wrestling. Especially the light weights. It's like watching two caterpillars fighting over a spot on a leaf.
11/28/12
While walking to the car....
D: Do you like my outfit?
Me: Yes. It's cute.
D: My shoes and jacket totally don't match. They're not the same colors as in my dress.
Me: But they coordinate. That's all that matters. Look at my outfit. I don't match.
D: Yeah. But you have an excuse. You're Jackie.
Me: Yes. It's cute.
D: My shoes and jacket totally don't match. They're not the same colors as in my dress.
Me: But they coordinate. That's all that matters. Look at my outfit. I don't match.
D: Yeah. But you have an excuse. You're Jackie.
11/16/12
While geting Tylenol
L: This has lasted a really long time.
Me: Well, it is a huge bottle.
L: Yeah, but considering all the drug addicts who take them, you'd think it'd be empty by now.
Me: I have my own stash.
L: What do you have?
Me: Extra strength Excedrin.
L: How is that different from what I took?
Me: Mine has like, aspirin, acetaminophen, and caffeine.
L: Damn, Jackie! For you, that's a party!
(I have a large company purchased "bulk" bottle of Tylenol in my desk drawer to dispense to co-workers who ask.)
Me: Well, it is a huge bottle.
L: Yeah, but considering all the drug addicts who take them, you'd think it'd be empty by now.
Me: I have my own stash.
L: What do you have?
Me: Extra strength Excedrin.
L: How is that different from what I took?
Me: Mine has like, aspirin, acetaminophen, and caffeine.
L: Damn, Jackie! For you, that's a party!
(I have a large company purchased "bulk" bottle of Tylenol in my desk drawer to dispense to co-workers who ask.)
11/15/12
Just a minute ago
Getting up from his desk -
L: Wish me luck.
Me: Umm, okay. Where're you going?
L: Upstairs to get handles for tomorrow's installs.
11/14/12
While watching X Factor
D: What IS she singing?? I can't understand her.
Me: Let's Dance. It's by Donna Summer.
D: I keep hearing lap dance....
Me: Let's Dance. It's by Donna Summer.
D: I keep hearing lap dance....
9/17/12
Last night
While taking S home from work. (To her own apartment!)
S: Oh! I have next Saturday off.
Me: Okay. So, you want to go to Grandma's with us?
S: YES!! She will feed me.
S: Oh! I have next Saturday off.
Me: Okay. So, you want to go to Grandma's with us?
S: YES!! She will feed me.
9/13/12
Unknown
I've been super busy at work since the beginning of Auguast, and many days I feel like I'm sleepwalking through them.
But despite feeling like a walking zombie half the time, I've been sticking to my morning walk.
Weather permitting. We've been having some fairly wet mornings around here lately.
This morning I wrestled with myself on whether I should walk or not. It was becoming really easy to talk myself out of it.
But in the end, the more rational, and less lazy, part of me prevailed and I set out for my 30 minute morning walk.
Whenever I'm out walking (at any time of day) I like to look up. So many of us forget to look at what's around us, and sometimes, there are surprising things in the sky.
This morning was no execption.
There was a bright crescent moon low in the sky with the rest of it lightly glowing and a bright star just above it (Does anyone know the name of this bright star in the east?) With the soft glow of the rising sun beneath the dark blue sky, I just had to get a picture.
Sadly, my iPhone camera did not do it justice (Or maybe it's the photographer!)
So I gave up on trying to get a good shot of the moon and got my butt in gear.
I headed down our street, and when I rounded the corner onto the next street, and saw the oddest thing in the sky. At first I thought it was a smoke trail from a jet since it was in the general flight path of planes coming and going to the airport. But it didn't look quite right for a jet smoke trail. It was too dence and bright.
Again, my iPhone pictures do not do it justice. I need to figure out how to best photograph during sunrise with city lights all around.
Anyway, this Thing slowly rose, moving from south to north and glowing like a super bright light stick before it took a dip downward.
As it dipped down, that end began to dissipate, while the beginning of the trail remained glowing. As the dissipating end began blowing away and fading more and more, rainbows began to show up in the smoke that looked like when oil and water mix.
This was one time I wished I had my DSLR with me! I watched it for a few minutes then headed home to download the pictures to my computer, to upload them to my blog, so I could tell you all about it.
And what started out as a 30 minute walk, ended up a 5 minute walk, while I watched and took pictures of this anomaly in the sky.
(I'm sure there is a perfectly reasonable explanation of exactly what that was. Because I'm pretty sure it wasn't an alien space craft that disintegrated upon entering our atmosphere.)
But despite feeling like a walking zombie half the time, I've been sticking to my morning walk.
Weather permitting. We've been having some fairly wet mornings around here lately.
This morning I wrestled with myself on whether I should walk or not. It was becoming really easy to talk myself out of it.
But in the end, the more rational, and less lazy, part of me prevailed and I set out for my 30 minute morning walk.
Whenever I'm out walking (at any time of day) I like to look up. So many of us forget to look at what's around us, and sometimes, there are surprising things in the sky.
This morning was no execption.
There was a bright crescent moon low in the sky with the rest of it lightly glowing and a bright star just above it (Does anyone know the name of this bright star in the east?) With the soft glow of the rising sun beneath the dark blue sky, I just had to get a picture.
Sadly, my iPhone camera did not do it justice (Or maybe it's the photographer!)
So I gave up on trying to get a good shot of the moon and got my butt in gear.
I headed down our street, and when I rounded the corner onto the next street, and saw the oddest thing in the sky. At first I thought it was a smoke trail from a jet since it was in the general flight path of planes coming and going to the airport. But it didn't look quite right for a jet smoke trail. It was too dence and bright.
Again, my iPhone pictures do not do it justice. I need to figure out how to best photograph during sunrise with city lights all around.
Anyway, this Thing slowly rose, moving from south to north and glowing like a super bright light stick before it took a dip downward.
As it dipped down, that end began to dissipate, while the beginning of the trail remained glowing. As the dissipating end began blowing away and fading more and more, rainbows began to show up in the smoke that looked like when oil and water mix.
This was one time I wished I had my DSLR with me! I watched it for a few minutes then headed home to download the pictures to my computer, to upload them to my blog, so I could tell you all about it.
And what started out as a 30 minute walk, ended up a 5 minute walk, while I watched and took pictures of this anomaly in the sky.
(I'm sure there is a perfectly reasonable explanation of exactly what that was. Because I'm pretty sure it wasn't an alien space craft that disintegrated upon entering our atmosphere.)
9/6/12
Just a minute ago
Me: R, do you have to be to school early this morning?
R: No. But I still want to leave early. Like a little after 10.
Me: Well, if we leave a little after 10, we might be a bit late....
R: No. But I still want to leave early. Like a little after 10.
Me: Well, if we leave a little after 10, we might be a bit late....
8/21/12
8/20/12
8/17/12
8/16/12
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